SPANKING MEMORIES (THE MEMORABLE SERIES)

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My sex education was spotty at best, but one message I got loud and clear was, “Keep men away from your underwear. I’m nervous, triggered into an emotional response that I still haven’t learned to control, that I’m not sure I want to control. Whether playing outdoors or sitting on church pews, our bodies were kept hidden under layers of cotton. On the contrary, I believe that the maturity and self-confidence that I project is a direct product of living in a family that set high standards of conduct and performance, promoted responsibility and helped us to achieve. After a lot of reading and evaluation I now understand how being treated this way had a negative impact on my mental health and conditioned me to ignore my personal boundaries or emotional needs.

If Mom told it once, she told it a hundred times–the story about an evil man who had tried to molest a young girl in her neighborhood. Afterward, she stands me up in front of her and straightens my clothes before I fall into her arms and sob my apology into her chest.I don’t believe the cane was actually banned, rather the headmaster, who I later learned had Quaker leanings, did not believe in using physical violence. I was 6 years old the first time I told my mother “I like being spanked”, to which she replied “Then, I’ll make sure to go harder. All I can really say to that is what my friend said to me, I am sorry that you have been treated that way.

I heard the cries of anger and pain, and later saw the dark bruise lines when I bathed the girls and helped wash their hair. I could go out like this and most people would think I was already fully dressed,” I must have said to my sister a hundred times as a teen–before pulling a skirt or jumper over my loose-fitting shirt. I also remember his calm cold voice as he told me I must bend over and touch my toes and hold perfectly still while he spanked me.Am I the only one who laid in bed at night masturbating to the thought of my parents forcing me to strip from the waist down and lay down defenseless in front of them so they could spank me? As a mom now I get exasperated by the grounding and even forget why on earth I grounded my kids to begin with. My mother hitting me in the face with a vacuum cord and giving me a bloody lip, and then apologizing that “she was aiming for my leg. However, the thing about the term “willful disobedience” is that it boils down to lack of compliance, which is often found in the actions of just being a child. My aunt got wind where she had been and Ann told her she had laid in some weeds cause we told her too.