The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

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The bottom line is, while the writing style isn't great, the strategies he's promoting are actually really good.

I look forward to reading this again, putting into practice what I learn and changing the way I view life. The moment you realize your mind has wandered (and it will, repeatedly), gently thank your mind, briefly note what distracted you, and bring your attention back to what you're doing. Defiende que el modo en que cada persona quiere vivir su vida es una decisión meramente personal, y que aplicar los principios de la ACT, algunos de ellos o ninguno, no está ni bien ni mal. The author comes across fairly quickly as a self-serving "I wrote this book to glorify myself" type. The principles and tools of the program can be applied very successfully, whether you are on medication or not.

This approach to the mind is based on the acceptance that no matter what you do, a massive portion of your thoughts and self-talk will be negative. It's not terribly new but it's exceptionally well-organized, which alone makes it worth checking out.

Guilt trips and self-criticism don't motivate you to make meaningful changes; they just keep you stuck, dwelling on the past. I've been thinking a lot about these things for both the big and little challenges that I face each day, and I have found them useful. I had grown up with the idea that I had to fight my own thoughts and feelings to keep an average level of happiness.

As it happens some of the exercises really got stuck in my head and I found myself doing them anyway! We suggest that you carve out at least 90 minutes per week to make sure you have plenty of time to absorb everything and review all program material before your access to the program ends. When we dwell on them or try to drive them out, we always seem to make things worse and end up angry or upset at ourselves. Use all 5 senses to connect with a useful chore--if boredom or frustration arises, make room for it and refocus on what you're doing. These thoughts can't be overpowered by positive visualization or a talking cure, but only by accepting them for the negative thoughts they are and moving on.

There’s a lot of really easy-to-try (sometimes oversimplified) techniques that make sitting with unpleasant emotion a little easier and more accessible to folks who have spent a lot of time and energy trying to control emotion rather than accept it. Johnny is looking out the window playing "I spy" with mum, looking at the cars passing by, waving at the trains and the truck drivers. It felt like Harris was putting all of us readers into this box “people who have unrealistic views on happiness”.

And although such a life will undoubtedly give us many pleasurable feelings, it will also give us uncomfortable ones, such as sadness, fear and anger. Or telling a grieving wife who lost her husband of 60 years and is now potentially homeless with no support that she should “accept” her fear and heartache and helplessness. Crisis times: breathing exercise to connect with environment and present; acknowledge "okay, right now this is where I am, and this is what is happening. I strongly recommend this book for anyone looking to feel more motivated and fulfilled in their day-to-day lives. By clarifying your values and developing mindfulness (a technique for living fully in the present moment), ACT helps you escape the happiness trap and find true satisfaction in life.

The good news is that, although we can’t avoid such pain, we can learn to handle it much better – to make room for it, rise above it and create a life worth living. Additionally, the way that Harris describes the underlying theory of ACT sure sounds a lot like Buddhist philosophy, even though it hasn’t been labeled as such. Pero más allá de la presentación de una destreza, pienso que el libro trata de transmitir una filosofía de vida, basada no en el disfrute sino en la aceptación, que puede hacer de la vida una experiencia más completa. Some of the important things ACT teaches are that sometimes life is painful, and we need to accept that fact; our thoughts do not control our actions, particularly when we step back and observe what our thoughts are and decide whether they are in line with our values; if yes, act on them, if no, don't try to force the thoughts away, but choose an action that is in line with your values. My only critique is that I wish Harris had addressed how these theories may or may not apply to various minorities, as the studies examining ACT’s efficacy has mostly focused on white samples (though that is changing slowly, very slowly).In The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris crafts a persuasive, intelligent argument for why we should stop aiming for happiness and instead aim for a mindful, values-driven life. When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, when we move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, when we clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich and full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful sense of vitality. I think this book would be most helpful for people who have tried a few different things to manage their head space but continue to find that negative thoughts/feelings keep arising. It looks at upping awareness of the pernicious cycles we get bogged down in, while nudging us in the direction of a value-driven life, as opposed to a goal-driven one. Secondly, I also find it problematic how ACT (as presented in this book) hijacks Eastern philosophies that have been around for thousands of years, repackages them, and sells them as a new, primarily Western therapeutic modality.