A Good Spanking

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The authors also note that some scientific theories suggest that SM practices, such as spanking, may help some people heal from trauma. Time outs. A time out should last roughly 1 minute for each year of age (e.g. 2-minute time outs for a 2-year-old). You’ll be hard-pressed to find any large-scale research that shows spanking to be effective in changing behavior and having no negative effects. But there are some studies out there that suggest spanking administered by “loving, well-intentioned parents” in a “nonabusive, disciplinary” environment can be an effective form of punishment. Smith, B. L. (2012, April). The case against spanking. American Psychological Association, 43(4),60 Look at non-physical consequences. Firmly and patiently tell them what needs to happen. Spanking should never be a first resort, and there are other ways to handle misbehavior. [2] X Research source [3] X Research source [4] X Research source [5] X Research source

Firmly say no. Give a short, clear response to them in a stern voice. For example, "We do not throw snowballs at people's faces."http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org/assets/pdfs/reference-documents/International-health-organisations-statement-in-support-of-prohibition.pdf Reclaiming or relinquishing power through the act of spanking may help some people regain psychological control over past traumatic events.

But if spanking is an accepted form of punishment in your home, what are the chances that in a moment of anger you might lapse and resort to this punishment when you shouldn’t, or more aggressively than you should? One patient of mine was very young when her father spanked her for something he believed she had done wrong. Her dad reacted very angrily, and spanked her hard on her bare bottom causing a lot of shame, rather than holding on to the shame it’s common for people to later in life turn the traumatic experience into a sexual one to help cope with what they have experienced, leading to a strong emotional connection between spanning and sex, which now manifests as a spanning desire or fetish. The following are answers to common questions about spanking therapy. Is spanking therapy always sexual? According to a 2015 article, people may take part in BDSM activities such as spanking for nonsexual reasons. Spiritual experience: Some people report that SM practices alter their state of consciousness, providing them with a sense of connection, wholeness, and mind expansion.Classical conditioning is a type of behaviourism that falls within this area, and acts an automatic response to prior learning – i.e. the spanking can be linked to something you’ve experienced in the past. It usually occurs around a particular traumatic episode, which is then stamped into the child’s psyche,’ Dr Spelman explains. Be sure you are not feeling angry during the spanking, as anger can make you hit too hard and thus increase your chance of causing injury or trauma to the child. Individuals may find it provides a new experience and a release from their everyday selves and responsibilities. Why might people like being spanked? Escapism or sense of adventure: People may find spanking therapy a way to change their routine and elevate their experience from mundane or everyday matters.

Removal of privileges. For example, if your child keeps pushing people while playing, take the toy away for now and tell them why. http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/four-in-five-americans-believe-parents-spanking-their-children-is-sometimes-appropriate-225314281.html Sagarin, B. J., et al. (2015). Sadomasochism without sex? Exploring the parallels between BDSM and extreme rituals. To avoid injury to your child, you should keep a safe distance from the genital area, the coccyx (tailbone) and the kidneys of the child.Statement by international health organizationsin support of prohibition and elimination of all corporal punishment of children.(n.d.) https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Parallels-Between-BDSM-and-Extreme-Ritual-Sagarin-Lee-Klement.pdf Spanking therapy is not necessarily sexual, and some people may see it in a similar way to other forms of physical therapy. Others may see it as a more ritualistic experience. http://goodparent.org/corporal-punishment/research-on-corporal-punishment/evidence-favoring-the-use-of-disciplinary-spanking/#_ednref1 According to an article in The Journal of Sex Research, people may engage in spanking therapy for a range of reasons, such as :

It is meant to send a strong message, not to be used on a daily basis. And it should never be motivated by anger or meant to illicit feelings of shame or guilt. However this is not the only reason people have a desire to be spanked as there are several other psychological theories which state other ideas. De Neef., et al. (2019). Bondage-discipline, dominance-submission and sadomasochism (BDSM) from an integrative biopsychosocial perspective: A systematic review.Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. Logical consequences. Tell the child to clean up a mess they made, fix something they broke, or pay for a broken thing they can't fix. This teaches them to fix their own mistakes. (If they are too young to clean or pay for it, you can do it together with them.) Power play: People may find it sexually arousing to play with power roles, such as becoming dominant or submissive. Others may also find it freeing to release responsibility and power in a controlled environment. Medical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and draws only from peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We avoid using tertiary references. We link primary sources — including studies, scientific references, and statistics — within each article and also list them in the resources section at the bottom of our articles. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. The key is that the spanking must be administered in a calm, loving environment. Remember, the focus is on helping a child to learn appropriate behavior, as opposed to simply satisfying a parent’s frustration in the heat of the moment. 2. All children are different