Not Now, Bernard: Board Book: 1

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Print off the template provided then your child can colour the mask and wear it to act out parts of the story. Write the monster’s diary

That tendency was on display at the hustings event last week, where Truss was asked whether the French president, Emmanuel Macron, is friend or foe. “The jury’s out,” she said. It was meant in a mischievous spirit, with an eye only for the Tory activists in the room. Foreign secretaries and wannabe prime ministers used to avoid imbecilities of that kind before Boris Johnson contaminated both offices with his marauding insouciance. And even he doesn’t hesitate to call France an ally. The titular hero is a boy who tries to alert his parents to the presence of a child-eating monster in the garden. They are busy with other things. “Not now, Bernard,” says the father, striking his own hand with a hammer. “Not now, Bernard,” says the mother, watering a plant. Not Now, Bernard is a slender picture book for children aged 3-5. First published in 1980, it remains a perennial favourite. For me, it is what you might have got if H. P. Lovecraft turned his hand to writing books for children, where the universe is a cold and indifferent place that contains monsters.

Finding time to share a book with someone

Bernard tries to attract the attention of his preoccupied parents who reply "Not now, Bernard". Bernard goes into the garden and meets a monster which eats him. The monster goes into the house and tries to attract the parents' attention but gets the same reaction from them, completely oblivious to the monster replacing their son. The monster lives Bernard's life, but more badly behaved, for the rest of the day and, at bed time, tries to tell Bernard's mother he is a monster but she replies "Not now, Bernard". The next resident of 10 Downing Street will find the garden crawling with monstrous economic and political menaces. A chorus of Bernards is raising the alarm. Economists, MPs, former Tory ministers, charities, trade unions, businesses, local councils – all can hear rustling in the bushes where a beastly crisis lurks, ready to savage the new prime minister.

If the monster, though, has eaten Bernard up metaphorically, then the mother is still ignoring her son who is now behaving like a monster by roaring at her. In other words, she knows it’s Bernard being a monster again.Using crayons and a large sheet of paper your child could draw their own monster, encourage them to talk to you about their picture. Use comic-creation software (e.g. Comic Life) to turn the story into a comic strip, or to create a story in one of Bernard’s comics. We can interpret my son's words to say he thinks that parents always protect you, but that is not my son's view of the story or HIS interpretation of the book. He has not read between the lines and just expects a normal ending like in Spiderman or any other adventure he knows. The sentences in the story are all quite short. Could you use a connective to join some of them together? Does this improve the story?

monstrous. But being monstrous does not destroy his life - it is surface monstrosity, producing minor annoyances rather than outright destruction. His parents by his parents ignoring him. This is where the child reader recognises himself or herself and finds comfort in the book. It is a book that holds the infant monster-hand and says 'here's your teddy, here's your milk, go to bed.' Not Now, Bernard had a mixed reception when it first came out (all my books seem to). Libraries banned it for violence, but children and their parents responded to it. I would also like to integrate hot seating, where the children could use talking partners to come up with some key questions to ask the parents and also Bernard. In turn allowing the children to understand the potential underlying reasons for the strong emotions in the book.Tories now speak increasingly fondly of the outgoing prime minister, not because they remember him as a skilled leader, but because his unique skill is mesmerising them into forgetting what good government is meant to look like. Truss doesn’t have that magic touch. The Brexit booster wand sits awkwardly in her hand. Write a story for the newspaper that Bernard’s father reads, about the sighting of a monster in the local area. This is the next chapter for Britain. The monster is here, announcing itself with roars and snarls. The crisis is upon us, demanding capable, serious government. When will that cry be heard? Not now, Britain. Not now. When you read the story again encourage your child to join in, perhaps with Bernard’s words or the chorus of ‘Not Now Bernard’. Children might also enjoy adding sound effects for example when dad hurts himself or when the monster munching Bernard. Watch the story

A cautionary tale. That is how it is so often read. Really? Cautionary tales are like Struwelpeter and The Water Babies. There are many books I don’t get ( see, for example, ‘What I don’t get about Stoner’– https://www.bernardokeeffe.com/?p=262), but I was surprised last week to discover that I might have been misreading my all-time favourite for many years. I was recently reminded of a book from my childhood: Not Now, Bernard. I’m not sure how it affected me then, but looking at it now, it is terrifying! Not in the ‘boo’ jump-scare way of modern horror, but in the sinking-feeling-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach-as-you-realise-there-is-only-a-void-beneath-your-feet way. Like watching Von Trier’s Melancholia and realising that all is essentially futile, as human cruelty and kindness is indiscriminately destroyed in a planetary collision. I’m sure everyone has experienced something similar. You’ve all read something that has instilled existential dread at the meaningless of life in you, right? Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m over exaggerating. But have you read Not Now, Bernard? In addition to all the problems Behr lists, on 4 September, twelve Tory MPs said they plan to submit letters of No Confidence to the internal 1922 Committee in Truss' first week as PM (they'd need 54 in total). See HERE. But hang on. Is there really a monster in the garden or is Bernard making it up? Just look at Bernard’s eyes – the way they give that sly leftwards glance. Is he telling the truth here?

You can also still join BIPC events and webinars and access one-to-one support. See what's available at the British Library in St Pancras or online and in person via BIPCs in libraries across London. using ICT the children might design their own monster and give him/ her a story using the paint programme The author uses the word ‘said’ a lot in the story. Can you think of any synonyms that would be more suitable in each sentence?